Determined not to atrophy

I just finished my first year of college after five years of educational hiatus, and I must admit it feels good to, once again, have a bit of direction in my life. Now, that is not to say that I begrudge those ronin days. It might just be me trying to justify my own actions (inaction), but I feel like I've grown a lot since my teenagehood. It seems to me that my chances of doing well in academia are much better now, and that my goals are both more noble and more realistic after spending some time in the "real world."

That said, the world has in some ways given the ass of yours truly a thorough kicking. Disillusionment, time, and credit-card debt have taken a toll. An old story I know, but I sometimes see the 18-19 year-olds in my classes, who regularly pull all-nighters full of hops and noise and small/large doses of causal sin then show up (occasionally) to class the next morning bright and chipper, and think to myself, "ignorance is indeed bliss." The saddest thing is that I'm only the tiniest bit contrite over the cliche'-ness of it all.

Still, I've noticed that five may be the magic number, as I've met at least a couple more 24 year-olds (and maybe unsurprisingly, not very many 21s or 22s) also finishing up their first year. As if we all just woke up one morning and realized simultaneously that we needed to get a life! And maybe we did.

So... what is this all about then? Well, I guess, my logic is as follows: the same way it would be no longer reasonable for me to go out on a bender and not except to feel extra shitty the next morning, it is also not reasonable for me to completely forget about school over the summer (al la elementary school through high school) and expect to be able to bring the A game in the fall. This blog then will be one of the ways I battle atrophy of the mind.

I have a few issues with blogs though. Foremost being, like facebook and myspace, a blog is all about me, and in someways it can seem a somewhat pathetic (if understandable) way to look for the fulfillment of the desire that people care about me, and find me important. This is the self aggrandising nature of blogging that I find repellent. But by the same token, as I person who loves the written word, I love blogs. I love reading about what people are thinking, especially people whose thoughts I find to be elegant and beautiful (*as seen here and here and here and here). This is, I believe, what a blog is at it's best, and where it fulfills a different role from long-form writing and other mediums. It's an opportunity to see thinking happen, while it is still in the process of happening... Moreover, it's an a chance to have a conversation with others using the written word via comments. Also, a chance to have your mind changed by better arguments and evidence, which should play an important role in any rational person's life.

Now, I hold no wild expectations that a whole bunch a people will suddenly start reading about me, and more alluring even, start to care about what I think. I'm sure many might feel it the pinnacle of hubris that I start a blog, and like millions of other anonymous bloggers, attempt to publish my words to the uncaring worldwide web at large. To those folks, I'm afraid my only response, though I see your point, I must respectfully say that this isn't about you. Aware that I might only be shouting in a vacuum, and could be served just as well by writing in a private journal, I want to give others the an opportunity to see my thinking happen. I welcome anyone who wants to tell me I'm wrong, or boring, or an egotist. Most especially those who want to have a conversation (an argument) and want to bring evidence to bare. I'd even, humbly as I can manage, except a compliment or two, if someone were to feel it was deserved.

But I've rambled long enough for one post (or post #1 as the case may be). If you've stumbled here some how, I will sum up by promising you, and myself, two things:

1. That I will try to post here at least once a day until fall term rolls around. After that, I can't make any guarantees.
   
2. That I will try to make this a blog about my ideas, and not a blog about Walter and why you should care about him if not love him.

So if that sounds like a interesting proposition, and a fair deal, then welcome to the table. I hope you have a nice visit...